Laman and his brothers return unto the tent of Lehi in the wilderness—There is much rejoicing and thanksgiving—The contents of the brass plates are a big disappointment.
NOW, I, Laman, could see that we were in a clove hitch; for behold, we had left Jerusalem with a big, ugly cloud over us, and I do mean that hot-air balloon Laban, for his abrupt passing might be traced to us, and here we were with no gold or silver or baksheesh wherewith to bribe the judges or pay high-priced lawyers; wherefore, we were doomed to wander in the wilderness as nomads, living in tents and eating junk food and pretending to be happy because we had the plates of brass with the genealogies of our fathers; yea, it was our only reading material, and I did not even know if it had a good plot.
2 Now when we did return unto the tent of my father, behold, my father and mother did rejoice; yea, and I did rejoice also, for I had dreamed a dream that when we had returned unto the valley of Lemuel by the river Laman, 10 and behold, we had found only a "For Rent" sign and our father had disappeared into the wilderness with no forwarding address.
3 And behold, my mother did suppose that we had perished in the wilderness, for she did believe that we would simply sashay up to Jerusalem, fetch the plates of brass and come galumphing back in next to no time and not stay away so long, for the days in the wilderness did drag along like a lame camel.
4 Wherefore, my mother had complained against my father, calling him a visionary man, which did show that she, at least, was coming to her senses; and behold, she did murmur that her sons had been killed, which was almost true, and she [17] did fear that she would also perish in the wilderness; yea, she did make it mighty uncomfortable in the tent of my father; wherefore, his joy was especially full now because of the silence of my mother.
5 Now behold, my father, Lehi, did take the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass, and he did search them from the beginning; yea, he did study them over day and night, which did waste many of our candles and a lot of his time.
6 And behold, the only things written upon the plates of brass were the books of Moses and the story of Adam and Eve and a whole slew of other ancient records, plus some genealogy; wherefore I could not see why our father had made such a fuss about them, especially since what we really needed was a good map.
7 But when my father saw all these things written upon the plates, behold, he was filled with the spirit, for it did not take much to set him off; yea, and he began to prophesy concerning his seed; and behold, I feared that he would discover that I had not packed all of the seeds he had commanded me to bring, but Nephi told me he was speaking about his children and his descendants; wherefore, I began to breathe easier; yea, I did let my mind wander to the prospects of trading the sword of Laban for some good looking Bedouin wife.
