Music and the Broken Word

	Music and the Broken Work: Songs for Alternate Voices Lyrics by Paul Toscano Illustrations by Cal Grondahl Signature Books, Salt Lake City © 1991 Contents Pardon Our Dust This Book is Under Construction
Acknowledgments, Disclaimer, and Warning Behold! Our Great Statistics! The Church Has Need of Worldly Praise Each Carping Saint 'Ere You Leave Your Room This Morning Forty-seven East South Temple Gently Falls the Sacred Rain George P. Lee, the Lamanite Glorious Things We Here of Utah God Has Called Them to the BYU God Speed the Left High ain the Mountains Around Us Home Aloone How Numerous the Commandments I Have Done So Much Good in the World Today Let the Bombs Come Down Let Ws All Be Faith-Promoting Les Us All Press on Let Us All Speak Kind Words Liberal Saints Love Toleration A Might Buttress More Confidence Give Me		Mormons Are Different From All Other Sects My! How the Women Are Raging My Time Is Far Spent Oh, How Early Comes the Morning! O My Family Our Image Was Poor The Party Line Praise Us to Whom All Blessings Flow A Real Good Time Summon All Those Members Sweet Are My Doubts There Is a Green Hill Far Away There is Sunstone in the Mail Today The Times Are A-changing We Are Church Employees We Are Spending We Mormons Wheresoe’er We Roam We Must Confess Wedding Song Where We’re going to Go Who’s on the Lord’s Side? Ye Elders of Israel



	EACH CARPING SAINT (Sung to "Each Cooing Dove" [OHB, 38]) In summertime, in August's het, In old Salt Lake, they come to meet. They gather in from all around; And that's when her-esies abound. [ChorusJ From far and near, Sunstoners come To meet at their symposium. There in the suI-try summer heat That's where the liberals come to bleat. In hotel rooms they congregate To gripe and moan and ventilate. They gather in from everywhere And that's when bull dung hits the air. [ChorusJ Each carping Saint, each grousing soul, Can find a place, can have a role. Each one can tell of pains and woes And lead ano-ther by the nose. [ChorusJ
'ERE You LEAVE YOUR ROOM THIS MORNING (Sung to "Ere You Left Your Room this Morning" [OHB, 31] or "Did You Think to Pray?" [NHB,140]) 'Ere you leave your room this morning, Young man, shave your face! Three days' worth of uncut stubble Is the fast track into trouble And into disgrace. [ChorusJ BYU has rigid standards Which the students here must live So potential wealthy donors Won't refuse to give. 'Ere you leave your room this morning, Co-ed, don your bra! We don't want your huddled masses Jiggling as you run to classes; It's against our law. [ChorusJ 'Ere you leave your rooms this morning, Young folks, check your sleeves! Naked shoulders, we've discovered, Are too lewd to go uncovered. One more of our peeves. [Chorus] 'Ere you leave your rooms this morning, Women, check your skirts! Hemlines should be at the knees, here, For we're clearly out to please, dear, Just some old stuffed shirts. [Chorus]
		BEHOLD! OUR GREAT STATISTICS! (Sung to "Behold! A Royal Army!" [OHB, 7; NHB, 251]) Behold! Our great statistics! What do we have to fear? We're clearly now in better shape Than we were just last year. Just look at all our converts Who've joined the growing throng. We've baptized a so many. Our methods can't be wrong. Counting sheep, counting sheep, We look so good statistically. Counting sheep, counting sheep, It's nothing to condemn. Counting sheep is so much easier Than feeding all of them. Behold! Our splendid buildings! Our universities! Our ranches, farms, and malls; our stocks and our securities! How much we own's a secret That we have guarded close And haven't even told those Who tithe upon the gross. Making bucks, making bucks, We look so good financially. Makingbucks,ma~gbucks, How much we will not say. Making bucks is so much easier Than kneeling down to pray. Behold! Our great connections! They're growing day by day. We've got some boys in Congress and We've clobbered ERA. We've nearly reached our goal to Stand proud on our home sod And dictate our commandments To Washington and God. Influence, influence, We look so good politically. Influence, influence, We can afford the price. Influence is so much easier Than making sacrifice.